Chinese New Year was so much fun ! Like the lantern they put outside grandma’s house !
The first day of CNY was always boring, and it haven’t change in 19 years. Second day of CNY is the fun one.
Ok nothing else kthxbai
How to make your green label BLUE! 😛
And I look like the mushroom.
You’re eighteen, young, fresh, and hunger for love. Not exactly the good looking and rich type, and you’re somehow feeling lonely in this big city. You do know that, it’s not easy to find love, but somehow, you still keep your hope, who knows, maybe “the one” would appear real soon.
So one day, you don’t know how does it happened, but you just met someone and getting closer to the one. You went over to her place a few times and somehow you feel yourself getting “attached“. At that time, you thought you’re “loved“, and you’re “in loved“, and somehow the how world is just about her. You went to quite a few places with her, and you’re happy all that time.
You doesn’t care about what others say, and you’ll even laugh and enjoy it when someone mention about her. So you do think that you’re somehow related to her, even though nothing has been said, and you both are literally “friends”. You want to go further than that. You doesn’t want to stop just there. You think she feel the same. You think.
You said, “I like you”.
“But I just wanna be friend”
What’s all that about? The sleepover? The outings? She do that to all the friends too ?
You start to blame her for everything. You can’t even sleep well at night. You seems happy, just fine, but you do know that you’re not. After you said that three words, everything seems to change. You don’t hang out anymore, you don’t go over anymore, and you start to wonder, if all the while you’re just friends, why can’t you hang out like normal after you propose, you thought all the while, you’re just friends ?
“Let’s try not to talk to each other for a month” she said.
What’s the goddamn point?
“So that I can know wether I miss you or not..”
You said yes, reluctantly, and, although you know that’s not gonna happen, you still keep a line of hope, that, she might just say yes.
But it never happened.
It just got worst. New semester. You thought everything gonna be fine and that you both can be as good as last time again. But in fact it just goes the other way.
She got attached. Just out of sudden, a guy that you never knew exist just pop out like that. She call the guy boyfriend.
You’re stunned for the next second you knew about that, WHAT?!
That’s the time you really know that, that’s no more hope anymore.
But hey, after one month, you kinda realized and keep thinking that, do you really even love her, or do you just want to be in-a-relationship and has someone always for you ?
That’s kinda different, you know ? Love is not like that.
You just realized that, in your boring lonely life, someone just pops out and suddenly get so close with you, and you assume that, you found “the one” You think that’s love ? Nah, that’s just a figure to fill your lonely soul. That’s not love! Love meant something more than that. You don’t “recover” so fast if it’s love.
Love is when she love you. But did that ever happened? Nope.
So what was that all the while ? It was just a process of life, my friend. Everyone been through that.
Now that you realized, you forget all the blame that you put on her, you strongly believe that, this is just plain friendship, and you do know that you both just gonna be friend, and nothing much. Now you can differentiate what’s love and what’s friend. Now she’s still good friend with you, and going on strong with the boyfriend.
You certainly do not hate her nor blame her nor doesn’t want to be friend, you know that it’s all plain childish. We’re still learning how to live this life. You thank her for this valuable lesson !
And now come to think of it, you don’t even have the balls to ask her for a picture together ! 😛
Guess who’s the you ? 😛
Always wanted to start things all over again. Always did. Always tried. Never success.
Always says “Only if..” “I can, if..”
I’m gonna fix this now. I can !
Still got no idea why I just delete everything and well, let’s just start a new thing here 🙂 Does this mean, it’s all over ? I certainly hope and think so. Well, now all I need is just some inspiration to write.
I’ll come back here soon and more frequent, that’s for sure. Are you with me ?